Fuck

The Betrayer

Why couldn’t it be something fun like a surprise cannabis?

I’m now almost completely sure that the plant that’s sprouted up everywhere we have potting soil is in fact the highly invasive and very ironically named Tree of Heaven (also called the Widowmaker). This type of sumac that grows in whateverthefuck it wants to such as sidewalk cracks is known to grow fast - which is something I can attest to having witnessed them popping up every damned where.

What’s worse (or maybe better?) is I’ve found they may be a larger contributing factor to why our intentionally planted vegetation becomes so mysteriously emaciated so quickly; the Tree of Heaven, apparently, secretes a sort of neighboring-root-poison so it doesn’t have to deal with competition. And yep, we have these everywhere in our planters - pulling them up when they sprout just slows down the eventual forest they’re determined to create.

More on this Class B invasive plant can be found here, among other sources:

God damn it was such a cute and hearty little guy, I was hoping it was some magical mystery plant I could brag about and play Beatles to all day. Well. Back to botanical banality (my next band name btw).